Ghosting: It’s Not As Spooky As You Think

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With Halloween just around the corner, it seems incredibly appropriate to talk about one of the most common dating practices out there— you guessed it, ghosting! In case you’re lucky enough to have never been ghosted, it’s when somebody you’re dating suddenly cuts all ties and communication with you for no apparent reason. And, yes, even our founder has in fact been ghosted and quite honestly, has even ghosted some poor souls herself.

While talk of ghouls and goblins is generally limited to October 31st, singles have to deal with Ghosts year round! But, before you run away in horror from this seemingly spooky dating practice, or even worse send a strongly worded text to the hottie who ghosted after 3 dates, here are our pro-tips to ghosting (yes, it can be socially acceptable sometimes) and being ghosted:


Recognize the Wind Down.
Ghosting, submarining, benching, flaking, however, you want to spin it, the way we like to think of it, simply put, is to recognize the wind down. If you can tell someone is leaning out, just cut it, especially after a date or two don’t get too upset if you don’t get a response back. If you enjoyed the date send a text the next day. Is there a conversation that continues? If it’s waning then it’s a good signal that the other person is just not that interested in you, or maybe more interested in someone else at that time. Our read receipts feature that comes with membership is a helpful tip to turn on here.

No Ghosting after 3 Dates!
In The League’s opinion, ghosting is acceptable after one or two dates. We’re all busy and trying to juggle dating and matching with someone with 1,000 other things that go on in our daily life. After 3 dates is where it gets messy and people get their feelings hurt, but before 3 dates not texting is a pretty obvious signal that you’re not interested. A good rule of thumb is if you’ve gone on 3-7 dates it’s nice to give the person closure and send something along the lines of: “Hey, you’re an awesome person, but I’m not sure we’re the right fit etc.” By this point you’ve probably shared a combined 6-10 hours with this person, so definitely let them know it’s a no-go!

Be More Pragmatic and Less Stressed.
Don’t take things so personally. Everyone is evaluating different things in typically, a very disorganized fashion. So, of course you are going to have tons of rejections and grab drinks with a lot of frogs disguised as prince or princess charmings. That is the nature of the hidden criteria we are all judging people on. So make sure you’re not wasting your time and figure out your date’s criteria out on the first date. What is this person looking for? What do they think makes for a successful relationship? What are their dealbreakers/criteria? Does this person watch GoT? Figuring out the answers to these important questions will let you be more pragmatic and less stressed.


Just remember, If you’ve just gone on a great date and get ghosted, they are not the right person for you! Your *person* won’t leave you on ‘read’ after the first date, I promise!

– The League Team

 

 

Let’s Increase Your Chances by 10%

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THE LEAGUE GOES MONOCHROME!

You may have noticed something different about your daily Happy Hour batches recently! Yes, that’s right, it’s official– The League has gone Monochrome! With Monochrome View, every potential Match you see will have their first photo displayed in black & white. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to see that same photo in full color by swiping through all of their photos!

WHY THE LEAGUE IS GOING MONOCHROME:

Substance > Superficiality The League’s research found an increased time spent in evaluating potentials profiles that were in monochrome. Colors can distract from the more important aspects of one’s dating profile. Monochrome View will allow you to look at more than just looks and check out your potential Match’s witty bio or badass career! In fact, our research shows that users spent on average 2x more time looking profiles “treated” with Monochrome View over those in the control group. Maybe it’s time to update your bio and interests since users will likely be looking at those a bit closer!

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover: Not only did users spend more time evaluating each profile- but The League’s research found that users were nicer and gave people more of a shot. Our research confirmed that when a user’s first photo is monochrome they had a greater likelihood of being ‘hearted’ compared to when that same first photo was in color. Our A/B test revealed that those with profiles “treated” with Monochrome View enjoyed a 10% higher acceptance rate over those in the control group. Yep, that’s right we’re doing this to help everyone in our incredible community get more matches!

Cultivating a Courteous Community: We want The League to feel like a black tie affair! Although we may have some of the same people in The League as you may see on regular dating apps we want our experience to feel like walking down the carpet. Monochrome View reiterates our rules of engagement and the fact that once you’re in the League we expect you to be on your best behavior! You would never text someone you met at The Oscars, “U up?”,… would you!?

Read more about Monochrome View on TechCrunch!

 

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Announcing our Fall Launch Series: Minneapolis, Phoenix, Portland & Detroit ?

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We’re so excited to announce that as of today The League is now available in Minneapolis and will be launching Phoenix, Portland, and Detroit later this Fall!

Thanks to all your amazing support during our Summer Series of launches; we saw incredible growth and positive feedback. The League is not just for high-achieving, intellectuals in the top metropolitan cities, but for all those seeking the other half of their power couple! Have a friend who has been complaining about their dating life and lack of any decent prospects on the current dating apps they use?  You can now endorse your friends by going to ‘Settings-> Endorse a friend for The League.’ 

Friend don’t let friends date down…

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WELCOME TORONTO, SAN ANTONIO, SACRAMENTO & NEW HAVEN INTO THE BIG LEAGUES ?

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Today marks a BIG milestone! The League is officially live in 20 cities! For the #SummerSeries grand finale, joining us off The League’s bench is Toronto, San Antonio, Sacramento and New Haven. In addition to our founding cities SF, NY, LA, CHI, BOS, & DC, as of this summer,  we are now live in another 14 cities: LON, PHL, ATL, MIA, ATX, HOU, DAL, DEN, SD, SEA, TOR, SAC, SA & NH

Thanks to those of you who sat patiently on our waitlists and tirelessly encouraged your friends to sign up so we could get The League started in your city sooner rather than later! You spreading the word is the reason we are here!

See below for some highlights of our founding class in Toronto, San Antonio, Sacramento & New Haven!

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Welcome San Diego, Denver & Seattle to The League!

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We’re so excited to announce that 3 new League cities went live today: San Diego, Denver & Seattle!

Thanks to those of you who sat patiently on our waitlists and tirelessly encouraged your friends to sign up so we could get The League started in your city sooner rather than later! You spreading the word is the reason we are here! We had a blast meeting our users at our Summer Series events in San Diego, Denver, and Seattle, and we’re excited for our upcoming parties in Toronto! See full schedule at bit.ly/theleaguesummerseries.

See below for some highlights of our founding class in San Diego, Denver, and Seattle!

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Are we not live in your city yet? Email scout@theleague.com with your city name to find out how to get involved in pre-gaming our launch!

The League is now live in Texas! ?

AmandaUncategorizedLeave a Comment

We’re so excited to announce that 3 new League cities went live today: Austin, Houston, and Dallas!

Thanks to those of you who sat patiently on our waitlists and tirelessly encouraged your friends to sign up so we could get The League started in your city sooner rather than later! You spreading the word is the reason we are here! We had a blast meeting our users at our Summer Series events in Austin, Houston, and Dallas, and we’re excited for our upcoming parties in San Diego, Denver, Seattle, and last but not least, Toronto! See full schedule at bit.ly/theleaguesummerseries.

See below for some highlights of our founding class in Austin, Houston, and Dallas!

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Are we not live in your city yet? Email scout@theleague.com with your city name to find out how to get involved in pre-gaming our launch!

Philly + Atlanta + Miami = ?

AmandaUncategorizedLeave a Comment

We’re so excited to announce that 3 new League cities went live today: Philadelphia, Atlanta, and Miami!

Thanks to those of you who sat patiently on our waitlists and tirelessly encouraged your friends to sign up so we could get The League started in your city sooner rather than later! You spreading the word is the reason we are here! We had a blast meeting our users at our Summer Series events (bit.ly/theleaguesummerseries) in Philly, Atlanta, and Miami, and we’re excited for our upcoming parties in Austin, Houston, Dallas, San Diego, Denver, Seattle, and last but not least, Toronto!

See below for some highlights of our founding class in Philadelphia, Atlanta, and Miami:

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Are we not live in your city yet? Email scout@theleague.com with your city name to find out how to get involved in pre-gaming our launch!

London League Goes Live Today!

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The League Team is super excited to announce that The London League went live today for our 2000 founding members! Yes, it’s our first international launch, and yes, we’re unbelievably excited for the opportunity to help London’s best & brightest find love! Here’s to creating some rockstar London Powercouples!

Want to know more about our founding class? Get on our waitlist for a chance to be drafted and check out the stats below!

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The Dry Era Ends for BOS & CHI Today!

AmandaUncategorizedLeave a Comment

We’re excited to announce that The League has officially launched in private beta in Chicago & Boston! Call us aspirational, but we really believe a new era of dating is finally here and that apps like The League will become the main way people meet going forward. Our goal is to grow our dating app into a community and brand that individuals across the world can trust to help them meet and connect with other ambitious individuals that care about substance, not just surface.

Context

We designed The League to cater to the needs of all of us crazy-busy, hard-working city peeps who want to date & meet new, awesome, compatible people without all the hassle that comes with other dating apps today. We believe dating is more than a game of “hot or not,” which is why we give more context about each person right up front. We display info from both Facebook and LinkedIn alongside the pictures, so that when you match it’s with someone you may actually want to meet in person! Imagine that.

Privacy

As we move to a world where everything and everyone is mobile and online, the separation between work & personal life has started to get dangerously blurry. With all the social graphs at our disposal today, we can eliminate those awkward scenarios. We require both Facebook and LinkedIn to protect your privacy and block you from your coworkers, business connections and Facebook friends.

Community

“My last two relationships were with people I met through college & work. It’s clear that being part of a community full of ambitious, motivated people provides a common bond that allows two people to instantly connect. Our goal with The League is to replicate that same feeling and create a community of passionate and driven people who, while they may be working towards wildly different goals, feel that instant connection.”

– Amanda Bradford, Founder

We’ll be slowly pulling people in off the waitlist over the next few weeks as we build out our brand new community. We are prioritizing our next city roll-out based on user signups, so get your friends to register (bit.ly/getmeoffTinder) so we can launch in your city next! If you’re social, well-connected and know how to throw kick-ass parties in your city, we’d love to have you help us out as a ‘Scout’ for your city. Please drop us a note at chi@theleague.com or bos@theleague.com with any ideas!

Want to see who’s in our Boston & Chicago founding class? See below!

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Why Impatience Is A Virtue In Dating

AmandaUncategorizedLeave a Comment

I hate to admit it (especially as the founder of a dating company), but I hardly have time for dating. If I’m lucky, I’m able to carve out time for one date a month, and if I’m honest, I’m likely looking at my phone for half of the date. I know I know, something I’m working on. All this to say the guy better be pretty special – and if I see a profile I think could be a ‘match’ AND I actually have time for a date that week, I want to jump on the opportunity right away.

But here’s the catch: chances are, I’m waiting in line behind a lot of other people who have also “hearted” that profile.

A quick primer on The League’s algorithm:

Let’s say I login and like Billy. My profile is now put in Billy’s ‘hearted queue’. Billy’s profile is shown between 1 and 6 times a day, depending on how often he fits people’s preferences. Let’s say he’s tall and well educated and lives in the heart of San Francisco, and nearly every girl that sees him likes him too. We consider this an ‘AllStar’ profile. By the end of just one week he could have 40 girls that liked him that are now in his ‘heart queue’.

Now let’s say Billy is on vacation, or just doesn’t check in for a couple of days, because, hey, he’s busy and building his empire. Maybe dating is put on the back-burner for a week or two. Now, the next time Billy logs in, the algorithm will give him 2 girls from his ‘hearted queue’ (ranked in order of probability of match occurring), and 2 users who have not yet seen Billy, but the algorithm predicts a high probability of eventual match. We do this so that Billy doesn’t get overwhelmed with matches in one setting, which (we hope) means he will value each match he gets more.

Moral of the story 

If the algorithm decides I’m a low probability of match with Billy, then I have to wait the entire 18 days for him to see me…and that’s assuming he’s logging in DAILY and voting on all profiles. An average user logs in 5.2x/week, so realistically, the wait is even longer. Chances are, after 18 days I’ll get caught up in a product launch or a trip to NYC or LA and forget about him entirely. I mean, he’s still just a face on an app! Or, another scenario is that perhaps Billy hits it off with a match he gets the next day and ends up seriously dating, and takes a League Time Out to pursue that relationship. Billy and I never even got a chance!

Differentiating Via Intent 

Rather than give myself CEO super powers and force match myself with Billy (although I’ve contemplated going about this route? ), I decided it was better to build something other users could benefit from too. We did some analysis on the varying ‘heart queues’ for our users across LA, SF, and NYC. Essentially all AllStar Profiles had a waitlist, so the TTM (time-to-match) from initial heart to match date was MUCH longer than what would be ideal for a busy working professional that has one open night that week. At a couple of our League Mixers in LA, SF, and NYC I talked to users and discovered that almost all of them had the same issues I do around timing, availability, and matching up with others that have a similar level of motivation (e.g. willingness to get off the couch to meet someone new). Looking at all this data made me realize The League needs to also prioritize profiles based on INTENT, not just probability of match. Our probability algorithm needed another variable to know that a user REALLY likes someone and is motivated to meet them in person.

The best proxy for intent?

It’s putting your money where your mouth is! We designed a Power Move feature that allows us to identify someone who is serious about meeting in person. This would serve as a signal that tells the other person you are interested in them (and more importantly, NOT a flake!) and gives our users the ability to take more control of their dating lives and timing, just like they do with their professional lives. The Power Move allows you to pay a small fee to skip the waitlist of a profile you fancy, and be guaranteed to show up in their very next batch with a special indicator that shows you’ve made a power move. Timing woes begone.

To make a Power Move, users of The League can just tap on

the lefthand icon after they’ve hearted a potential match. You can even opt to send a personalized note to them through their concierge to really make a killer first impression.

 

The Data Don’t Lie

Data shows that when someone indicates interest, the other person is 3X as likely to reciprocate and make a match. It shouldn’t be surprising that people on The League are attracted to those who go after what they want; that’s what ambition is. According to our studies, both women and men agree initiative is ‘sexy as hell’. 

For us, impatience is a virtue when it comes to dating, and those who go after what they want, tend to get it. And if it turns out that person is ‘the one’ – wasn’t it worth the $7?

Take the new feature for a spin and let me know what you think!